Good morning.  Today we are in the 3^rd week of a 4 week series of messages from the Bible called Healing Your Hurts.

2 weeks ago we studied John 5, and we discovered that step 1 in the healing process is to admit that we are hurting, and choosing healing over hurt.  Last week we looked at John 11, and learned that the second crucial step to healing is to find comfort.  Through that, we looked at the need for receiving comfort from God and from others as well.

This morning, we’re going to look at a story that Jesus told in Matthew, chapter 18.

It sounds like something right out of a scary movie, but it’s real.  In recent years, scientists have discovered a kind of bacterial infection commonly called “flesh-eating bacteria.”

Once this bacteria enters a human body, it can multiply rapidly.  Within 24 hours, its victim begins to experience flu-like symptoms, severe thirst, and an extreme weakness.  Within 3-4 days, the limb, or area of the body most affected, will begin to swell, and dark blisters filled with blackish fluid will appear.  At 5 days, the victim’s blood pressure will drop severely and he or she will go into toxic shock.

If it’s not discovered early, and treated quickly and aggressively, it can consume a person’s health and well-being from the inside out, and eventually it can take that person’s life.
Now, I know that there is 1 or 2 people here this morning, that when you hear that bacteria described, think to yourself, “Well, I have some of those symptoms.”  You may even be starting to worry.

But I know there are others among us who are breathing a sigh of relief, thinking to yourself, “I may not be the healthiest person in the room, but at least I don’t have some bacteria eating away at me from the inside out!”  Right?

Well, don’t be so sure.  I don’t think any of us have to worry about a bacteria eating away at our skin.  It’s fairly rare, probably less than a thousand or two cases a year.

But this bacteria has its parallel in the spiritual realm, and just like its physical counterpart, this spiritual affliction can fester and grow, and if it’s not discovered early,
and treated quickly and aggressively, it can consume a person’s spirit and soul from the inside out, and eventually it can rob that person of his or her spiritual life.

I’m talking about the hurts that live inside of you.  The personal, emotional, relational wounds.  The wounds that are a result of something someone said, something someone did, something someone neglected to do.  And those hurts, if they’re not confronted and treated and healed, can eat away at your heart and spirit and even affect your physical well-being.

If you have your Bibles with you, go ahead and turn with me to the book of Matthew.  And I want us to concentrate on Matthew 18:23-35.  We are going to study verses 23-35 this morning and see what God’s word can teach us about healing our hurts.

In Matthew 18:23-35 it says, “1”

Wow!  Jesus was strait to the point.  I don’t know how He could make it any clearer, forgiveness is a big deal.  And it’s a big deal not primarily because it’s bad for the people we can’t forgive, but it’s a big deal because it’s bad for us, because it’s sinful, and because it’ll eat away at us from the inside out and jeopardize our relationship with God!  Now that’s a big deal.

So, today, I want to take our remaining time together to focus on 3 things.  Number 1, The Parable, Number 2, The Parallel, and Number 3, The Process.

Number 1, The Parable

Look at Matthew 18 with me, starting at verse 23.  This parable, which Jesus told after Peter had brought up the subject of forgiveness, has as its main character a “king” and one of his “servants.”

Now, when Jesus called this man a “servant,” He didn’t mean a butler, or a gardener,
a court jester, or anything along those lines.

The kind of servant He’s most likely talking about is a high official.  Someone that might take care of the treasury for the king.  This man was probably an important man who handled large sums of money.

So, in verse 24 Jesus says, “As he began the settlement, a man who owed him 10 thousand talents was brought to him.”

Now, this was an enormous amount of money.  In fact, the Bible gives a footnote and says that it is talking about millions of dollars.  And at a time when money was not like it is today, that means that the man owed him even more than we can think of.  If Jesus were telling this story today, He might say that the servant owed him billions and billions of dollars.

But, as verse 25 says, “Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.”

Now, in those days, this was how a large debt would be repaid if the person was unable to afford it.  Rather than filing for bankruptcy as we do now, it was common in ancient times for a man and his family and possessions to be sold and the money give to whoever he owned money to.

But as we read on, we find that the servant did what any of us would do, he begged.

Look at verses 26 and 27, “The servant fell on his knees before him.  “Be patient with me,” he begged, “and I will pay back everything.”  The servant’s master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go.”

Now, something very important is happening in those verses.  Notice that the servant begs for more time to be able to pay back the debt.  ““Be patient with me,” he begged, “and I will pay back everything.””  But the king did not give him an extension, as he had asked.  Instead, what was it that the kind did? (PAUSE)

Yea, that’s right!  “The servant’s master had pity on him and cancelled the debt!”  He CANCELLED THE DEBT!

That’s HUGE!  The servant begged for a little mercy, the master gave him unspeakable grace.  The servant wanted a chance to repay, the master erased the entire debt!

And you know what?  Even though we’re not done considering the parable, I want to sidestep just a little bit here to point out:

Number 2, The Parallel

I suspect you know without me telling you that the king in this story is our gracious God, and that the servant is you and me.

If you have received the forgiveness of sins that comes about as a result of being baptized and entering into a relationship with God, then you are that servant.

You and I have been forgiven of a huge debt.  It was a debt that we could never be able to repay.  That incredible forgiveness is dramatized in a little parable of sorts that has made its way around the internet.  I don’t know who wrote it, but I wish I had.  Let me read it to you:
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“In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room.  There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files.  They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order.  But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings.

The first to catch my attention was a file that read “Girls I Have Liked.”  I opened it and began flipping through the cards.  I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.  And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life.  Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match.  A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content.

Some brought joy and sweet memories; while others brought a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed.”  The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird.  “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I Have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed At.”  Some were almost hilarious in their exactness.  “Things I’ve Yelled at Others.”

Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger,” “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath.”  I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.  Often there were many more cards than I expected.  Sometimes, fewer than I had hoped.  I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume; could my short life really have produced each of these thousands, maybe millions, of cards?  But each card confirmed it.  Each was written in my own handwriting and signed with my own signature.

When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts,” I felt a chill run through my body.  I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card.  I shuddered at its detailed content.  I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

A sudden thought gripped me: No one must ever see these cards.  No one must ever see this room.  I have to destroy them!  In a frenzy, I yanked the file out.  I had to empty it and burn the cards.

But, as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card.  I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.  Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot.

Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.  And then I saw it.  The title read, “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.”  The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused.  I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than 3 inches long fell into my hands.  I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

What has God forgiven you of?  What a debt we have each been forgiven.  10 thousand talents worth of debt, forgiven in an instance.  A lifetime of debt to sin, forgiven in an instance.

And yet, how often are we like the servant in Jesus’ parable, who according to verses 28-31 went out found someone who owed him a tiny amount, a hundred denarii, that is less than 20 bucks, and rather than forgiving as HE had been forgiven, makes him pay the full penalty of his little debt.
You see, if your sins have been forgiven by Jesus, you’ve had an incredible debt cancelled.  It was completely erased.  So if there’s any grudge you’re harboring, if there is anyone you’ve not forgiven, if there is any lingering bitterness in your heart toward someone who’s hurt you, you’re acting just like the ungrateful servant in Jesus’ parable.

And like that flesh-eating bacteria I mentioned at the beginning, that un-forgiveness is causing more damage to you, to your heart, to your spirit, than to anything or anyone else ever could.  In fact, according to Jesus’ parable, somehow, your un-forgiveness will bring God’s judgment back upon you.

That’s pretty serious stuff.  But the flip side is this: a great Jewish philosopher in her study on The Human Condition, identified only one power that can stop the unstoppable stream of painful memories and bring about true emotional healing.  She called it the “faculty of forgiveness.”

So, what is it going to take for us, for you, for me to take the healing path and exercise “forgiveness?”  Now, let me take just a few more minutes to sketch out for you:

Number 3, The Process

In Colossians 3:13 God’s Word commands us to, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
That’s easier said than done, I know, but it is possible.  And I believe that the process of forgiving, which is crucial if you really want to heal the hurts that you have, consists of 3 things.

First is facing.  The first step in the process of forgiving someone who has wronged you is facing your responsibility.  That may mean coming to grips with the part you may have played, any wrongs you may have committed toward the person who hurt you.  It may mean facing the need to forgive yourself as a first step toward forgiving someone else.  But you have to be willing to face the situation.

But that’s not all; the second step is forgiving.  Lewis Smedes, in his book Forgive And Forget writes, “When you forgive someone for hurting you, you perform spiritual surgery inside your soul; you cut away the wrong that was done to you.”  Once you have faced the situation, you need to actually forgive the people you need to forgive.  Let go of the hurt, and forgive them for the wrong that they have done to you.

But there is yet one more step in the process, and that is forgetting.  Now, don’t misunderstand me here.  When you decide to forgive someone, you don’t suddenly forget, POOF! just like that.

But, once you truly forgive someone, the healing that follows forgiveness will place a growing distance between you and the thing you’ve forgiven.  It’s sort of like setting a toy boat into a flowing stream or river.

Once you release the boat into the current, it will be taken farther and farther away until, some time in the future, you’ll lose sight of it.  That is what can happen when you forgive someone.  Once you let go of the wrong that was done to you, the current of your forgiveness will take your memory of the hurt farther and farther away until, some time in the future, you’ll lose sight of it.

You see, that’s the healing path.  Facing the situation, forgiving the person who hurt you, and forgetting the hurt in time.

Jesus picks out one of the hardest things to do, forgiving others, and He says that we have to perform it or we are out in the cold.  Why is Jesus so tough on us?

If we can choose the healing path, and choose to “…forgive those who have trespassed against us,” we can experience healing and wholeness in our hearts, in our relationships, and be able to change our future by healing the past.

Let’s Pray!