Good morning. Today, we are continuing in our series Stress-Busters. So far, we have taken a look at 5 of the things that cause us a lot of stress in life. To do so, we have looked at the 23rd Psalm. Here is what we have learned so far.
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.” is God’s antidote for worry. “He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters.” is God’s antidote for busyness. “He restores my soul.” is God’s antidote for damaged emotions. “He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” was God’s antidote for indecision. And then last week, we took a look at dark valleys, and David says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
Today we move one step closer to the end of this psalm. We will be looking today at how to handle hurts in our lives. Because we live in a fallen world we get hurt from time to time. We get hurt physically by accidents and disease. We get hurt emotionally by other people. Relationships can bring the greatest joy in our lives, but at the same time they can bring the greatest pain. People hurt us sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally, sometimes accidentally, and sometimes on purpose.
David, the author of our text certainly knew what it meant to be hurt by others. His life was full of relationships that failed, his mind was filled with memories of all kinds of mistreatment. But knowing his life, I think that when David wrote this verse he may have been thinking of the most difficult times of his life.
Because in Psalm 23:5 he says, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.”
How do you handle your hurts? Many times we handle hurts in the wrong way. We do things that we think are right, but they are actually the wrong things to do. In fact, in Proverbs 16:25 it says that, “There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death.” So, today I want to begin with 5 WRONG ways to handle hurt, and then we’ll take a look at God’s Antidote For Your Hurt, the 3 RIGHT ways to handle hurt.
To Begin, 5 WRONG Ways To Handle Hurt
1. We Ignore It
This is the macho man approach to pain. Just suck it up. Pretend it doesn’t exist. Hope that it will go away. There are several ways we do this. We try and deny it, “That didn’t hurt me. I’m not mad.” We attempt to delay it, “I’ll deal with that later. I don’t get mad, I get even.” We even try and minimize it, “It’s no beg deal. It didn’t hurt that bad.”
But, when we ignore our hurt, it never gets healed. You’ve heard it said, “Time heals all wounds,” but sometimes time makes the infection grow worse. Denying it, delaying it, minimizing it, they are turn minor problems into major ones. Wounds get infected and spread when they aren’t dealt with. So, ignoring your hurt does not work, it makes it worse.
2. We Run From It
This is the cowardly approach to dealing with hurt. Escape. Retreat. Run as fast as you can. This is our human nature. When we feel pain we run. When people hurt they run. People run to: the television, the movies, the drugs, the shopping, the divorce, the alcohol, the sex, the food. We run to wherever we can find relief. But when we return the problem is still there. So, running doesn’t solve it.
3. We Hide It
Many of us are good at doing this. We wear a mask. We don’t tell anyone we hurt. We are very good at camouflaging our pain. When someone asks if we are okay, we say that everything is fine. We don’t like to admit that someone has hurt our feelings. If we admit that we are hurt we open ourselves up to more hurt, so we try and hide it.
Revealing your feelings is the beginning of healing. In James 5:16 it says, “Confess your sins to one another and pray for each another so that you may be healed.” Everybody has a hurt. You’re not alone. You’re not even the only one with the hurt you are experiencing. Be open about your hurt, and don’t try and hide it.
4. We Worry Over It
Sometimes we hover over our hurt like a mother hen hovers over her chicks. Worry is an attempt to control the uncontrollable.
There are things in your life that you cannot change. You are not God, so why try to be? Worry is playing the pain over and over again in your life. Here is what God’s word tells us to set our minds on. Colossians 3:2 tells us to, “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.” Worry never solves problems. It never heals hurts. The more you worry about it the bigger it seems.
5. We Become Bitter About It
Bitterness never makes you better. Yet sometimes when people hurt us we become bitter. We get angry and clothe ourselves in self pity. But bitterness hurts you more then it hurts the person you are bitter against. Bitterness is self destructive behavior. Bitterness is a poison that will kill you. In James 1:20 it says, “…man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.” Anger and bitterness never heal hurt.
So, there are the 5 most common ways that we deal with hurt in the WRONG way. But, you ask, “What DOES heal my hurt? Look at Psalm 23:5 again, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.” Here is God’s antidote for our hurt.
Here Are 3 RIGHT Ways To Deal With Hurt
“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.”
In that verse, David uses a very familiar image to give us 3 illustrations that describe 3 steps we need to take in order to let God heal the hurt. The first thing that you need to do is:
1. Let God Settle The Score
When David says, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemys…” he is saying that the first step in overcoming the hurts of others is to let God settle the score. This is such a key attitude to have. David is saying, “When you’ve been hurt, don’t try to get even, don’t seek revenge, don’t try to think of ways to retaliate. Simply let God handle it.”
Philip Keller, an author and Australian shepherd says that David is referring to a pasture scene here. You see, when David talks about a table, he is not talking about an eating table, he’s using the word that means “tableland.” A level, flat-topped, grassy plateau. According to Keller, the shepherd early in the spring would go ahead of the flock finding the best summer range for his flock. Once he has found it he looks over it with great care. Keller writes, “He will check to see if there are poisonous weeds appearing, and if so, he takes drastic steps to eradicate them. Plus, while looking over this tableland the shepherd keeps a sharp eye out for predators. He will look for signs of wolves, coyotes, bears. And if he finds evidence of these wild animals he will look for another place or hunt down the killers and kill them or at least drive them from the tableland. All this prepares the table in the presence of the enemy.”
Now, the point here is that God will take care of our enemies. Remember, sheep are very defenseless animals. They don’t have sharp teeth to bite with, or claws to scratch with. They can’t kick. They can’t run fast. They are absolutely defenseless. And that means that they need protection.
The spiritual application is clear. God says, “Let me handle those who’ve hurt you.” in Romans 12:19 it says, “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”
You see, God knows the people who’ve hurt you. He saw it and He cares. He can settle the score. There’s only one way you’ll ever get the relief and that’s turning it over to God. Trust God to handle the situation. Let Him prepare a table before you in the presence of your enemies. Let God settle the score.
2. Let God Soothe Your Wounds
David said, “…You anoint my head with oil…” Shepherds put oil on the heads of sheep for reasons, to soothe or provide protection and to heal. One enemy of sheep is flies. They can’t shake off the flies either by their hooves or by swatting them with a long tail. The worst enemy is the nose fly. This insect actually flies up in sheep’s nose and lays eggs. And the larva drives them crazy. Sometimes in the summertime you’ll see a sheep banging its head against a rock because he’s going crazy from the flies.
He can’t do anything about it. So, the shepherd takes olive oil and mixes it with sulfur and anoints the head of the sheep and the oil becomes an insect repellant.
One other way the shepherd would protect the sheep with oil. Often in these tablelands there would be snakes that live under the ground. When the sheep bends down to eat they would pop us and bite them on the nose or head. The bites were poisonous and could make them very sick. So the shepherd walked through the pasture and whenever he came to a snake hole he would pour oil in it. This made it almost impossible for the smooth snake to get out of his hole. And the shepherd would also place oil on the sheep’s head and nose so that if the snake did get out it would smell the same oil and be repelled by it.
So, David is saying, “Let God take care of your hurts and irritations, let God soothe you by taking care of the things that hurt you.”
The second way oil was used is as a salve, an ointment. When a sheep had an open wound the oil would help to heal. When David says, “You anoint my head with oil,” he is saying God is going to heal my wounds. There are going to be times when we are hurt. God promises that He will heal our hurt if we will let Him. In Psalm 147:3 it says, “God heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” He says, “Not only will I settle the score, but if you’ll come to Me and let Me have your hurts, I’ll settle the score and then do a little repair work. I can soothe those hurts. I can bandage them up.”
Notice it says, “God heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” When you get a small cut a band-aid will do. But the deeper the wound in your life: divorce, rejection by parents, lies told to you, the loss of something. A deep wound must be dressed with a bandage. And only God can apply that bandage. God will heal your broken heart and He will bandage your wounds. Allow God to soothe your wounds.
3. Let God Satisfy Your Needs
“My cup overflows.” In the Bible, an overflowing cup is a symbol for total fulfillment. In the Middle East, it’s mostly desert so a shepherd would often have to give his flock water from a well. He would draw up water for hours in order to fill large stone jars for the sheep. But sheep do not like to put their heads inside anything closed, like a jar. So the shepherd kept the cups, or jars overflowing, so the sheep could drink without fear.
You see, God will meet your needs, especially when you’re hurt. The problem is, when we get hurt, instead of drawing closer we withdraw from the shepherd. And yet, one of the major reasons we get hurt is we expect other people to meet needs only God can meet. No person can give you absolute security in life. No person can give you all the love you need. God never designed you to have all your needs met by another human being. You have needs that only God can meet, you have a cup that only God can fill.
When you expect other people to meet those needs you’re going to end up resentful because they can’t do it. They can’t love you unconditionally 24 hours a day.
They can’t make you secure 24 hours a day. They can’t make you happy 24 hours a day. They can’t meet all your needs. Why? Because they’re not God.
On the other hand, God can and will! He never runs dry. He never fails. He never has a bad mood. If you look to Him your cup will overflow.
Have you ever wondered when you go to somebody’s house how long you’re supposed to stay? Or have you had someone come to your house and you didn’t know how to tell them to “go.” There is a custom in the Middle East that everyone knew that had to do with filling the cup. If you came to somebody’s house, the first thing you do is offer them a cup of water or drink. They drink that cup and you refill it. As long as the cup kept being refilled it meant you were welcome to stay. If you came to somebody’s house and after several refills, they left the cup empty, it meant that it was time to leave. If the host decided he really liked the person and wanted him to stay a long time, they would take the cup and fill it not only to the rim but they would let it overflow. An overflowing cup was a sign that you can stay as long as you want. And something else, you are special.
Well, when God says to you, “I’m going to fill your cup to overflowing,” it means you matter to God and you’re special to Him. If you’re hurting because somebody has hurt you, God is saying this morning, “I’ll protect you so let me settle the score. I’ll take care of your hurt so let me soothe your wounds. And I love you and want to satisfy all of your needs.”
He will settle the score, soothe your wounds, and satisfy your needs. In God’s words, He says, “I’ll prepare a table before you in the presence of your enemies. I’ll anoint your head with oil. Your cup will overflow.” Now, that’s a deal you just can’t refuse.
And you know what happens when you get that deal? All the things we’ve talked about over the last 6 weeks. You begin to survive worry, busyness, emotional pain, indecision, dark valleys, and hurts from others. And how do you do this? Because your cup overflows with the truth of the last verse of this Psalm. “Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
And that is what we will finish with next week. But for today, we learn that “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.”
Let’s Pray!
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