Good morning. This morning we are going to continue in the series Extreme Home Makeover. So far, we have taken a look at Mother’s Who Love, How To Have Good Fights, Making Memories, and last week, we looked at Children Who Learn. And today, we are going to continue our look at Extreme Home Makeovers. Before we do that though, allow me to open with a word of prayer. Let’s Pray!
I can remember a time a few years ago, I was working at a week of church camp. During the recreation time, there were some people playing volleyball, and then there were a few of us that were launching water balloons from a sling shot into the air, and the little kids were trying to catch them on a sheet. The idea was for them to catch the balloons on the sheet without them breaking. We were using small balloons so that they would not break too easily.
And here is where I come in. I was recruited to take part in the balloon launching. I must confess that I was drawn to the launch pad not out of compassion for the little kids but because I wanted to blast some balloons at the other counselors who were over playing volleyball. We took turns gently lofting balloons to the kids and then turning around, pulling back as far as we could, taking aim, and launching water bombs at the grown-ups. We were having more fun launching the balloons of destruction at the unsuspecting volleyball players than we were lofting balloons of delight to the children.
Our balloons were small, and yet they had the ability to cause delight or bring destruction, depending on how they were used.
Likewise, our words have the same power. They can bring joy or they can cause pain. Proverbs 18:21 puts it this way, “The tongue has the power of life and death...”
This morning, I want to give you some practical steps that will help you tame your tongue. The stakes are high. Your words can either bring life, or they can bring death to your spouse, to your kids, to your parents, to your siblings, to your relatives, to your friends, to your co-workers, and to your neighbors. You see, our tongues can build others up, or they can tear them down.
Our study this morning will center on the book of James. This short book has only 5 chapters and is known for its practical wisdom and common sense for life. Throughout the letter James is helping his readers learn to view their trials from God’s perspective and to resist temptation as they deal with their anger. The church was tolerating evil, showing favoritism, and participated in fighting, slander, and lying about one another. They were using their tongues to destroy each other.
Listen to what is written in James 1:19, 26. It says, “...Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry...if anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”
If you and I launch verbal balloons of destruction, they will have devastating consequences on others.
James continues his treatment of the words that come out of our mouths by devoting almost all of chapter 3 to the topic. If you have your Bibles with you, go ahead and turn with me to James chapter 3. In this passage, we are going to read verses 1-12. Take a look at that passage with me. James 3:1-12 says, “1”
In verse 1, James warns people to be careful about their eagerness to be teachers because teachers are held to a stricter judgment. Perhaps they were impressed with the authority and prestige of the office and forgot about the tremendous responsibility a teacher has to guard his or her words.
Teachers are not the only ones who are prone to sin. In verse 2 we see that each of us need to admit that, “We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.”
Now, I want you to notice how James connects sins of the tongue with sins of the body. He does this because our words usually lead to deeds. The hardest sins to control are the sins of the tongue. Proverbs 21:23 says “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.”
And then in verses 3-12, James uses 6 different word pictures of the tongue to help us see how small, yet powerful the tongue can be.
1 – The first metaphor is the bit that is put into a horse’s mouth by a trainer.
This relatively small piece of metal can control a very powerful animal, directing the horse to the right or to the left and telling him when to stop. When the bit is pulled back by the rider, it presses against the horse’s tongue causing him to stop.
2 – James also compares the tongue to a rudder on a boat. Just as a small rudder can control the direction of a large liner or even an aircraft carrier, so too, the tongue can control our lives.
Both the bit and the rudder must overcome contrary forces. The bit controls the wild nature of a horse, and the rudder must fight the winds and currents that would drive the ship off course. Both the bit and the rudder must be under the control of a strong hand.
On TV the other day, I was watching a group of people out water skiing. At one point, they circled the lake a couple times and then the one that was skiing signaled that he wanted to quit. His buddy was driving the boat and decided to turn the wheel sharply to get him to wipe out. As he turned, the boat dipped suddenly to the left, causing him to fall out of his seat. The skier hit the water, and then the boat started coming right toward him. At the very last second, someone in the boat reached over and turned the wheel. What was intended to be fun almost turned into a disaster. And, with just a small turn of the wheel, that guy’s life was saved.
Well, guess what, our tongues are the same way. They’re small but they have the power to delight or destroy. From our mouths come either words of life or words of death.
3 – After talking about the power of a bit in the mouth of a horse, and the power of a small rudder to steer a large boat, James uses the image of fire in verses 5 and 6. He said, “Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
Just like a small spark can ignite an entire forest, so too words that flow out of tongues can destroy lives. Words that are unleashed without thought can significantly affect and alter lives. Do you remember the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me?” I don’t know who came up with this but it’s just not true because words can break our hearts. Broken bones can heal with time, but a broken spirit caused by words of death, is not quickly repaired.
Let me ask you a couple questions. How many people have you maimed or killed with your words? Do your words build up or do they burn down others?
4 – As important as it is to not speak death words and to instead speak words of life, we have a problem. Take a look at verses 7 and 8. In those verses it says, “All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” I can’t tame my tongue. And you can’t tame your tongue.
It’s amazing when you think about it. Every dangerous animal can eventually be tamed. Ferocious lions can jump through burning hoops, grizzly bears can ride on bicycles, and huge elephants can be ridden. We have a remarkable ability to tame ferocious beasts but we can’t get hold of our own tongues.
Verses 9 and 10 lay out the hypocritical nature of our tongues. It says, “With the
tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” You see, we bless God while we blast away at others. Don’t you think that there is something wrong with this picture?
5 – James now draws his fifth word picture to help us see that it should be impossible for us to both bless and blast out of the same mouth. He asks a penetrating question in verse 11, “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?” The image here is of a fresh, flowing stream that has both bitter water and sweet water flowing through it. Natural springs still remain in the Middle East today. Some produce fresh water, and some produce salt water. However, none produce both. It is not possible.
So James is saying here that just as it is impossible for a spring to have both sweet and sour water, so too it is inconceivable for the tongue to send forth both blessings and curses.
6 – The final image is that of fruit in verse 12 when it says, “My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” We expect a fig tree to have figs on it and a grapevine to have grapes. Nature reproduces after its kind. James is calling us to be consistent. What comes out of our mouths is a reflection of what is in our hearts.
Now, as we begin to apply all of this, I want to give you a few action steps this morning, ways that you can apply this in your own life. You see, it’s not enough to just hear about how powerful our tongues are, or even just to walk away understanding a bit more about this passage. If we want to have tamed tongues, then we must put into practice what we’ve heard. And here are a few ways that you can do that.
First, read Proverbs and James. The Book of Proverbs has 31 chapters, one for each day of the month. Why not make a decision to read a chapter each day, along with a chapter from the Book of James? After a month, you will have read through the entire book of Proverbs once and James 6 times! Almost every chapter in Proverbs has something about the tongue.
For example, on day 11, you would read Proverbs 11:12 which says, “A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.” Then on the 12th day, you would read from Proverbs 12:18 which says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” So make a commitment to be reading God’s word when it is concerning our tongues.
Secondly, think first. I heard about a young mother who asks her kids a question on a regular basis. She asks, “Are your words flames or flowers?” This helps her children realize that they have a choice to make. They can plant beautiful flowers with their words or they can unleash a raging fire.
Using the work THINK, try to ask yourself these 5 questions before you speak.
T – Is it True? Remember this rule about gossip, “The more interesting it is, the more likely it is to be false.”
H – Is it Helpful? Will your words help bring about a solution to a problem, or will they make the problem worse?
I – Is it Inspiring? Will your words build up someone or do they only tear them down?
N – Is it Necessary? Do we have to say anything at all?
K – Is it Kind? Are your words based on a desire to help?
So, if we want to get a better grip on our tongues, then we need to think first.
Thirdly, talk less. Your chances of blowing it with your words are directly proportional to the amount of time you spend with your mouth open. Abraham Lincoln once said, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
Calvin Coolidge said, “I have never been hurt by anything I did not say.” Proverbs 10:19 puts it this way, “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”
I read this week about a woman who had a very serious throat condition. The doctor told her that her vocal cords needed total rest, she was forbidden to talk for 6 months! With a husband and 6 kids, this seemed impossible, but she did what she was told. When she needed the kids she blew a whistle. Whenever she needed to communicate she wrote things on pads of paper.
After six months, her voice came back. When asked what it was like to communicate only in writing, she said this, “You’d be surprised how many notes I crumpled up and threw into the trash before I gave them to anyone. Seeing my words before anyone heard them had an effect that I don’t think I can ever forget.”
King David, after seeing how his words got him in trouble wrote this in Psalm 39:1, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth.” While we might not be able to stop talking for 6 months, we can at least learn to talk less, thus removing the possibility of using our tongues in a negative way.
Number four, we need to build up others. The Bible continuously reminds us to encourage one another with our words. Are we speaking words of death or words of life? Words of life energize people. Proverbs 12:25 says, “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”
Let me challenge you to give one encouraging word to the people you come in contact with this week. You’ll probably have to be deliberate.
Tell your son or daughter something that will build them up. Teenagers, give a complement to your parents, or friends. Siblings, say something kind to each other. Couples, affirm and encourage each other, at least once a day and see how much better your relationships go.
And finally, have heart surgery. Why is it so hard to say kind things with our tongues? Well, it’s because the Bible says that in our strength we will never tame our tongues. Where does all the garbage come from that comes out of our mouths? Jesus gives us some insight in Matthew 12:34 and in 15:19 when He says, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks...for out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, lies and slander.”
God doesn’t want you to leave this service and try to tame your tongue totally in your own strength. It will take more than just willpower and determination. If you want to stop using death words, and begin speaking words of life, then you need a different heart. The good news is that Jesus specializes in heart transplants. You see, if you’ve never allowed Jesus to change you from the inside out, then it’s time for some heart surgery. If you keep your old heart, you’ll continue to launch verbal grenades and live like you’ve always lived. But, if you ask Jesus for a new one by turning your life over to Him, you can have a fresh start, a new beginning.
Only God can give us the power we need to build others up instead of tearing them down. If you want to be a dispenser of life words instead of death words, then you need to have a changed heart. Romans 10:9-10 says, “If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”
So we have to allow God to perform this heart surgery on our lives. Now, I want to close this morning by reading something I received by email this week. It says,
I shook my head in disbelief. This couldn’t be the right place. After all, I couldn’t possibly be welcome here. I had been given an invitation several times, by several different people, and had finally decided to see what this place was all about. Yes, I was at the right place. I peered through the window again and saw a room of people whose faces seemed to glow with joy. All were neatly dressed, adorned in fine garments and appeared strangely clean as they dined at this exquisite restaurant.
Ashamed, I looked down at my own tattered and torn clothing, covered in stains. I was dirty, in fact, filthy. A foul smell seemed to consume me and I couldn’t shake the grime that clung to my body. As I turned around to leave, the words from the invitation seemed to leap out at me, “Come just as you are. No jacket required.” I decided to give it a shot.
Mustering up every bit of courage I could find, I opened the door to the restaurant and walked up to a man standing behind a podium. “Your name, sir?” he asked me with a smile. “Jimmy D. Brown,” I mumbled without looking up.
I thrust my hands deep into my pockets, hoping to conceal their stains. He didn’t seem to notice the filth that I was covered in and he continued, “Very good, sir. A table is reserved in your name. Would you like to be seated?” I couldn’t believe what I heard! A grin broke out on my face and I said, “Yes, of course!” He led me to a table, and sure enough, there was a placard with my name written on it in a deep, dark red.
The man returned and said, “I recommend the “Special of the Day.” With it, you are entitled to heaping portions of everything on this menu.” You’ve got to be kidding! I thought to myself. You mean, I can have ALL of this! “What is the Special of the Day,” I asked with excitement ringing in my voice. “Salvation,” was his reply. “I’ll take it,” I practically cried out.
Then, as quickly as I made that statement, the joy left my body. A sick, painful ache jerked through my stomach and tears filled my eyes. Between my sobs I said, “Mister, look at me. I’m dirty and nasty. I have a foul mouth. I’m unclean and unworthy of such things. I’d love to have all of this, but, but, I just can’t afford it.” Undaunted, the man smiled again. “Sir, your check has already been taken care of by that Gentleman over there,” he said pointing to the front of the room. “His Name is Jesus.” Turning, I saw a man whose very presence seemed to light the room. He was almost too much to look at.
I found myself walking towards Him and in a shaking voice I whispered, “Sir, I’ll wash the dishes or sweep the floors or take out the trash. I’ll clean myself up and stop swearing. I’ll do anything I can do to repay you for all of this.” He opened His arms and said with a smile, “Son, all of this is yours if you just come unto me. Ask me to clean you up and I will. Ask me to take away the stains and it is done. Ask me to clean up your mouth and I will. All you have to do is accept the gift.”
Astonished, I fell at His feet and said, “Please, Jesus. Please clean up my life.” Immediately, I heard the words, “It is finished.” I looked down and white robes adorned my squeaky clean body. Something strange and wonderful had happened. I felt new, like a weight had been lifted, and I found myself seated at His table. “The Special of the Day has been served,” the Lord said to me. Salvation is yours.”
Let’s Pray!
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