Good morning.  As we continue today in our series “Desperate Households,” we come to our next topic.  Today, we are going to take a look at Desperate Parents.

There is an author that has written books called, The Power of a Praying Parent, The Power of a Praying Wife, and The Power of a Praying Husband.  In the Power of a Praying Parent she opens the book sounding like Dickens, “It’s the best of jobs.  It’s the most difficult of jobs.  It can bring you the greatest joy.  It can cause the greatest pain.  There is nothing as fulfilling and exhilarating.  There’s nothing so depleting and exhausting.  No area of your life can make you feel more like a success when everything is going well.  No area of your life can make you feel more like a failure when things go wrong.”

Moms and Dads, I’m pretty sure that you can relate to those statements.  So what can you as a parent do?  Its almost as if you have been ran down by all the bad parenting around you, that you don’t know what to do in order to be a Godly Parent.  Hopefully, we will be able to help out this morning as we look to God’s word for the answer.

Before we do that, let’s open with a word of prayer.

In the days of the wild west, a lone cowboy went riding through a valley and came unexpectedly upon an Old Indian lying motionless on the road.  His right ear was pressed to the ground, and he was muttering to himself, “Ummmm, stagecoach!  Ummmm, 3 people inside.  Ummmm, 2 men, one women.  Ummmm, 4 horses, 3 gray, 1 black.  Ummmm, stage coach moving west...”

The cowboy was amazed and said, “That’s incredible, partner!  You can tell all that just by listening to the ground?”  The Indian replied, “Ummmm, No!  Stage run over me 30 minutes ago!”

Parents, have you ever felt run over?  There are probably a few parents here today that feel run over.  And that causes you to think that you are not a good parent.  Dr. James Dobson did a survey and found that 80% of parents feel like they are failures.  With that many parents feeling that way, isn’t it a good thing that God did not call us to be perfect parents.  I think that He understands that parents are going to make mistakes, and that they are going to feel run over at times.

You see, God is not interested in your perfection as a parent, but He is interested in your direction as a parent.  In what direction are you leading your children?  And how can God help when it comes to your family?

Dorothy in the movie Wizard of Oz says, “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home!” and she’s right.  There’s no place like home, when it is a Godly home to live in.  A Godly home is one of the best places on earth, while a desperate home is one of the most miserable places.  So how can we have a more Godly home?

There are several steps we must take and turning to God is the first step.  Go ahead and turn with me to Psalm 127.  If you remember last week, I said that this verse could be a theme verse for this series.  Well today we are going to look at this passage.

I believe this psalm was written by David to his son Solomon.  David gives his son some Godly advice on starting a family.  He mentions 4 things God can do for any family who turns to Him.  Let’s read that.  Here in Psalm 127:1-5 it says, “1”

So, what can God do for my family?

First, God Can Help Me BUILD My Family.
“Unless the Lord builds the house . . .”  Now David isn’t talking about constructing a shelter.  He’s talking about establishing a family.  What David is saying, is that “God can help you build your family.”

Let’s move on.  “Unless the Lord builds the house, it’s builders labor in vain.”  In other words, if you want a home that will last and survive, then you’d better turn to the master home-builder, God Himself.  God invented the family.  He knows what will work and He knows what won’t work.  He can help fix whatever problem your family will encounter.

You see, it’s like this: A story is told of Henry Ford.  One day he and his wife were driving in the country and they came across a man whose Model T had broken down.  He was under the hood trying to figure out what was wrong, when Mr. Ford asked if he could take a look.  And in just a few minutes, Mr. Ford had the Model T running.  The owner was amazed and said, “I’m impressed with your knowledge of Model T’s, and I’m amazed that you fixed it so easily.”

Mr. Ford replied, “I ought to be able to fix it because I’m the one who DESIGNED it.”  And you know what, that’s how it is with God and the family.  God is saying, “I can fix it because I designed it!”

But just how does God build your family?  God isn’t going to wave His hand over you and your spouse and supernaturally transform the 2 of you into Ward and June Cleaver.  Nor will He wave His hand over your children and change them into the Brady kids.  God doesn’t work that way.  Instead, He gives you the necessary instructions and tools and says, “Here’s what you need.  Get to work.  I’ll help you every step of the way.”

So where are those instructions?  They are revealed in the Bible, exactly what we are looking at this morning.  The Bible is the best marriage manual and child-rearing manual on the market.  It has withstood the test of time and it has millions of satisfied customers.  So you’d be wise to heed what it says about the family and put it into practice.

And I encourage you to do just that.  Even if you don’t have any children, listen to this.  Be wise!  Make a commitment to listen to what God says and ask Him to help you put it into practice.  Follow His instructions and He will help you BUILD your family.

Second, God Can Help Me PROTECT My Family.
“Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.”

What is a city?  It is a group of families who live close together.  And the word “watches” means to guard, protect, and save lives.  So David is saying, “God can help you protect your family.”
Family sure do need protection in today’s world.  I’m sure that we have all seen the commercials where a burglar is trying to break into a home, and they are saved by their security system.  Well guess what, God is that security system that we all need when it comes to protecting our families.  Not only does your family need protection from burglars and prowlers, it also needs protection from all of the evil around us.  You see, the Devil would love nothing more than to break up and destroy your family.  And that is what he tries to do every single day.  So what are some of the weapons that he uses against the family?

How about adultery?
There is only one sin that can break the marriage bond in the eyes of God, and that is the sin of adultery.  The devil will do everything he can to get you to be unfaithful to your spouse.  But God can protect your family by helping you be faithful and committed to your mate.

What about an attitude of selfishness?
This is Satan’s most successful weapon against the home.  This “me first” mentality destroys the home from within.  But, God can protect your family by helping you develop a Christ-like attitude: an attitude that puts the needs of your mate and your children before your own.

Or what about conflicts?

How many marriages do you know of that have been destroyed because of fighting.  Just think of the effect that that has on the children if any are involved.  But you know what, the best way to avoid that is to look to God for the answers to solving conflict in the home.  And we will do that next week.

Now those are just a few of the most common things that our families need protection from.  There are many, many others.  But the thing to keep in mind, is that no matter what the problem is, God’s protection is still available.  God can help you protect your family, if you’ll just make a commitment to follow Him and obey His word.

Moving On, The Third Thing Is That God Can Help Me PROVIDE for My Family.

Do you know how God provides for your family?  He doesn’t send food down from heaven like He did for the Israelites so long ago.  Despite what some people may believe, He doesn’t plant any money trees around for us to find.  Instead, He provides through good old-fashioned work.  He tells us to provide for our families by earning a good and honest living.

In a commentary that I have, it suggest that verse 2 could be a description of 2 types of fathers who try to provide for their families.  The first father can’t sleep at night because he isn’t content with what he has.  He works long hours in order to provide his family with the luxuries of life.  The second father can sleep at night, not because he’s lazy, but because he’s content with what he has.  He works in order to provide his family with the necessities of life, and he’s content with that.

Moms and Dads, and everyone else.  We all need to learn the difference between luxuries and necessities.  Children don’t need lots of toys, designer clothes, cell phones, new cars, and swimming pools.  Those things are luxuries.  Children do need a roof over their head, food on their table, and clothes on their back.

They need your attention, your affection, your guidance, and your good example to live by.  They need to be disciplined in love.  They need to know that they are important to you, and that you love them, and you enjoy spending time with them.  Those are necessities that your children need.

Now, there is nothing wrong with the luxuries of life, unless they are your main focus.  If you can provide both the luxuries and necessities, then more power to you.  But most parents have to make a choice.  Don’t be like the first father mentioned in verse 2.  Be like the second father and provide what your children NEED instead of what they WANT.  And you will find contentment and peace of mind.

So, we have seen that God can help us build our families, He can help us protect our families, and He can help us provide for our families.

Finally, God Can Help Me RAISE My Family.
Verse 3 describes the value of children, “They are a heritage… and a reward…”

They are a heritage, not a hindrance, a blessing, not a burden.  You see, there is no such thing as an unwanted child, only unfit parents.  The feminist movement says, “Children will cramp your style.  They’ll keep you from pursuing your career and being somebody.”  But guess what, I know plenty of women who have children that they have and are raising, and they have great careers.  So that argument doesn’t work.

A lot of men argue, “Children are too expensive.  If I have children, then I might not be able to drive the kind of car I want to, or live in the kind of house I want to, or take the kind of vacations I want to.  After all, children make a rich man poor.”

Wait a second.  That sounds like it is backwards.  Children don’t make a rich man poor.  They make a poor man rich!  You can’t take any of your money to Heaven, but you can take all of your children to Heaven, if you’ll lead them to Jesus.  That’s the value of children.

Verses 4 and 5 wrap this section up by describing the value of children.  Children are a blessing from God, and anyone who has them, should realize that.  For a warrior, to have his quiver full of arrows is a good thing, and for a person to have children, is the same.

But people will ask, “When should I start teaching values to my child?”  I always want to respond to them, “Well when should you start feeding them?”  The answer is right away.  In fact, the sooner the better, because when they are young, they are impressionable.  Verse 4 there brings up a good analogy.  When does a warrior influence his arrow the most?  Is it after he’s shot it?  No.  When he holds it in his hand.  The best time to start teaching your child Godly values is while they are very young, while they’ll still very impressionable.

Somebody else asks, “What’s the best way to teach values to my children?”  The best way to teach your child is by a Godly example.  Teach your child the Bible with your lips and back it up with your life, and it will make an impression on their young hearts.

Ask yourself this question, “Do my children see our church family as our primary community?”  This is when we address the issue of, “Is church optional for your children.”  Now I know the arguments around this issue.  Parents will say, “I want them to choose to come to church.”  Or, “I don’t want to make them go to church and cause them to hate it or me in the future.”

I have seen parents that have taken that approach, sometimes it has been a good thing, but most of the time it is a bad idea.  As parents you need to impress upon your children the importance of going to church.  That is your primary community.  When you need something, the people of the church are there for you, and your kids need to know that church is a priority in the life of your family.

Now I can’t tell you at what age you need to allow your children to decide, but I can honestly say that as long as you make it a priority while they are young and growing up, when they get older, they are more likely to continue to attend than if you allow them in their teen years to decide that they don’t want to go to church.  Make church and church attendance a priority, and then model that priority for them in your own lives as well.

So, we need to look to God to help us build our families, to protect our families, to provide for our families, and to guide us in raising our families.

When he was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1984, Harmon Killebrew said, “My father taught me and my brother to play ball in the front yard.  One day my mother came out and told him we were ruining the lawn.  My father told her, “We’re raising kids, not grass.””

Well, moms and dads, let me remind you that your primary goal is not to succeed at business, to keep a beautiful home, to make more money.  It is to Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and to raise your children to do the same.  At the beginning I mentioned a book called, The Power of a Praying Parent.  To end, let me just remind you about that power.

In James 5:16 it mentions the importance of prayer.  Here in James it is talking about the prayer of faith, and in James 5:16 it says, “Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray form each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

The prayers of parents can be effective in the lives of their children as well.  Make sure that you are spending time in prayer about your family.  God is up there listening, and if we will seek Him with all of our heart like we discussed last week, then we will find Him and He will help us change our Desperate households into Godly Households.  He will transform Desperate Parenting into Godly Parenting if we will just seek Him.

Let’s Pray