Good morning.  This morning we are going to talk about something that everyone deeds a variety of.  And that something happens to be friends.  Everyone needs friends.  Even a variety of friends can be useful in a person’s life.

In front of you, is a small portion of the amount of shoes that Nellie has in her closet.  (Show a variety of shoes.)

Each shoe serves a different purpose.  Or as Nellie would put it, each shoe is for a different occasion or outfit.  Some are running or tennis shoes, used for working out, playing tennis, or going for a run.  Then, she has flip flops, or sandals for casual events like going shopping or to a picnic.  Then, and this is the majority of her shoes, she has what she calls dress shoes.  And when it comes to a woman’s dress shoes, they have to have at least one in every color.  Me, I have a black pair of dress shoes, and a brown pair of dress shoes.  Nellie on the other hand, has several styles of black, a few brown, and then every other color in the rainbow I think.  Nellie even has a pair of fishing shoes.  They are a worn our pair of tennis shoes that she is okay with if they get muddy or wet.

Now, just like we need a variety of shoes, in the same way, we have friends for different areas of our lives as well.  We have casual friends, close friends, work friends, social friends, and the list can go on.

Jessica, age 31, of Dix Hills, New York, said, “When I feel low, I always think, “Well, I have a friend who is this and a friend who is that, the super-successful impressive friend, the crazy creative friend, the beyond-loyal friend, the since-seventh-grade friend,” and it makes me feel better to be able to say, “I am so good at having friends that I’ve got them in all different shapes and sizes!””

Well, all of us do have friends in different shapes and sizes.  It’s possible that we have just never thought about it in this way.  Someone has suggested that we all need at least 5 types of friends.

First, There Is The Work Friend:
Having an office pal or work friend can boost productivity, it can make the day go faster, and it has the potential to make your work more fun.  In fact, Sylvia, age 36, of Brookline, Massachusetts, say that her work friend is the only reason that she survives her “tedious job” at all.

Secondly, There Is The Friend Who’s Known You Forever:
This friendship is or can be priceless.  They keep memories alive and share them with you.  Some are as close as a brother or sister.  They are a security blanket to us at times in our lives.

Recently, my closest friend got married and moved to North Carolina.  Me and TJ went to youth group together, we were college roommates all through college, and remained close after college.  Now, he lives about 6 hours away, and it makes it difficult to stay in touch other than over the phone.  But it is that kind of friend in a person’s life that makes you value true friendship.

Thirdly, There Is The Hobby Buddy:
You call this friend when you want to catch a movie, go eat, play golf, go shopping, fishing, hunting, walking, whatever it is that you enjoy doing, this is the person that goes and does it with you.

Fourthly, There Is The Straight-Talking Friend:
We all probably need someone who’s honest, gets to the heart of the problem, and doesn’t sugarcoat things.  However, such a friend must be or should be someone who speaks the truth in love, and keeps God’s word close to their heart.  Otherwise, their frankness can be brutal, and misguided.

For the Christian, our motivation in life should always be love: love for the Lord and love for others.  My parents use to always tell me, “Now Josh, if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.”  Well as Christians, if we don’t speak from a heart of love then we shouldn’t speak at all.

And Finally, There Is The Feel-Good Friend:
We all need a cheerleader who believes in us.  Such a friend rejoices with you when you rejoice and weeps with you when you weep.  And that is a great friend to have in your life!  We all need a friend like that.

Paula, age 36, of New York City said, “My spirits are lifted the moment I hear my friend Rachel’s voice.  She never belittles me, or says stupid things like, “You’ll get over it.”  She really knows how much better people feel when someone just listens.”

And I believe that everyone needs someone who believes in them and gives them encouragement in life.  E. Hubbard once said, “A true friend is the person who knows all about you, and still likes you.”

Now, if we take those 5 types of friends, and we apply them to God, we find that He is the ultimate friend.  He is the friend that we should have with us at work.  He is the friend that has know us forever, especially since He is the one who created us.  He should be the friend that shares in our hobbies, because all He wants to do is be close to us and spend time with us.  Obviously, He is the strait talking, word of truth spoken in love kind of friend.  And finally, He is the make you feel good and encourage you kind of friend as well.

But, aside from God, I want us to think about making friends, keeping friends, and influencing friends.  What will it take for us to be able to do that?

Before we move on though, allow me to have a word of prayer.  Let’s Pray!

First, Let’s Look At Making Friends:
In the King James Version of the Bible, in Proverbs 18:24 it says that, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly…”  And in the New King James Version that same verse says that, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.”

A man, who never seemed to be able to make or keep friends, went to see a psychiatrist.  The psychiatrist was interviewing him, but failed to catch something the man said and asked: “Would you mind repeating that please?”

“I said,” replied the fellow, “for some reason nobody ever seems to like me.  Why don’t you pay attention to what I am saying you moron!”  You know, it’s no wonder he didn’t have any friends.

If a person is going to be rude, crude, mean, nasty, etc., then they will not have many people that are willing to be their friend.  There is a poem that puts this idea in perspective for us.  It says,

“I went out to find a friend,
But could not find one there;
I went out to be a friend,
And friends were everywhere!”
When you take the first step in being a friend, you will find you have all kinds of friends.  But if you stay in your shell and wait for people to befriend you, you’ll only have a few or fewer friends.

James S. Hewett tells of a neighbor he had who was trying to put a TV antenna on his roof, but was having a terrible time.  Hewett decided to give him a hand.  He went over and took with him his best tools and soon had the antenna up.  His neighbor asked him what he made with such fancy tools.  Hewett replied, “friends, mostly.”

Any time we are quick to meet others, greet others, help others that are in need, we wukk make some friends along the way.

Milford Christian Church, in Milford, Missouri, population of 52.  Yep, only 52 people in that little village near Lamar, Missouri.

Anyway, that church has a 125 year history and for the first hundred years the church ran about 60 people.  Now it runs an average of 270 in attendance.  But why?  And how?  With only 52 people that actually live in that little town, how does it have that many people in their church?  The answer to that question can be found in what the preacher calls a special welcoming technique.  It’s called “swarming.”  They “swarm” their visitors with handshakes, hugs, and friendliness.

In fact, they have another welcoming technique that is bound to make friends.  Every visitor gets a homemade pie or something like it!  There is a lady in the church who bakes every week just for those who visit the church.  They are delivered the next week after they visit the church.

Now, if would be hard not to like a church like that or the people in that church!  It has been said that when people visit a church for the first time they will decide whether they will come back or not in the first 7 to 12 minutes.  That is why friendly greeting and friendly greeters are so important!

But what else is needed to make friends?

Two psychiatrists met at their 20th college reunion.  One was vibrant, while the other looked withered and worried.  “So what’s your secret?” the older looking psychiatrist asked.  “Listening to other people’s problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me.”  “So,” replied the younger looking one, “who listens?”

One sure way of not making friends is by not listening to people or not paying attention to them.  Dale Carnegie once said, “You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in people, than you can in 2 years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Listening is not one of our better traits, but it should be if we want to make friends and help the church to grow.  It says in James 1:19, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”

An 80 year old grandfather went to his daughter’s house for Sunday dinner.  When the meal was over, he announced that he was going to take a walk through the neighborhood.  “I’ll be back in 20 minutes,” he said.  But 2 hours had passed before he finally returned.  “Sorry I’m late,” he said.  “But I stopped to talk to an old friend and he just wouldn’t stop listening.”

The question to ask yourself is this: “ARE YOU LISTENING TO OTHERS?”  This is one very good way to make friends.

Secondly, Let’s Take A Look At Keeping Friends:

Two men were traveling together, when a bear suddenly met them on their path.  One of them climbed up quickly into a tree and concealed himself in the branches.  The other, seeing that he was going to be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the bear came up and felt him with his snout, and smelled him all over, he held his breath, and gave the appearance of death as much as he could.  The bear soon left him.  When he was gone, the other man descended from the tree, and asked what it was the bear had whispered in his ear.  “He gave me this advice,” his companion replied.  “Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach of danger.”
In Proverbs 27:10 is says, “Do not forsake your friend ….”  A sure way to lose a friend is by forsaking him or her in times of trouble.  Someone once said, “The surest way to wipe out a friendship is to sponge on it.”  Did you ever have a sponge for a friend?  The only time they ever came around was when they wanted something.  Not much of a friend, were they?

If a friend is a true friend, you can call on them for help, but if that’s all a person ever does, then it’s not much friendship.  True friendship is a matter of giving as well as receiving.

Supporting one another in prayer is a good way to keep a friend.  If you know that someone is constantly remembering you in prayer, how could you not be a friend to them?  In Proverbs 18:24 it says that, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  Did you ever have a friend who stuck closer to you than a brother?  That is always a good way to keep a friend.  Stick to them closer than a brother or a sister.  In Ecclesiastes 4:10 it says, “If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

Proverbs 17:17 tells us that, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

In a survey of more than 40,000 Americans, these qualities were most valued in a friend: 1. The ability to keep confidence  2. Loyalty  3. Warmth and affection.

These are the ways to keep a friend.  Be there.  Be helpful.  Be faithful.  Be loving. And be supportive.

And Finally This Morning, How Do We Influence Our Friends:

Matthew 11:19 says that, “The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, “Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners…”

Jesus was a friend to sinners.  He was a friend to all people.  The Samaritan woman at the well.  Matthew the tax collector.  The rich young ruler.  The wealthy tax collector, Zacchaeus.  Nicodemus, the Pharisee.  The blind, the lame, the leprous, and the list goes on.  There was no one that Jesus would not love.

We also make friends by association.  Do you socialize with others or just stay to yourself?  If we want the church to grow we must have some friends outside the church with whom we associate and hopefully, influence in a positive way.

I’ve heard it said for many years, and I believe that it is true, that people don’t care how much we know until they know how much we care.  We win friends and influence others by being caring, loving, and kind to them.
When the Moravian missionaries went to Greenland, they were unable during the first year to make any impression whatsoever.  Then came an awful epidemic of smallpox in which multitudes were devastated.  Then the missionaries went about among them ministering to their physical needs.

Then the door was opened.  The people said, “You have nursed us in our sickness.  You have cared for us in our distress.  You have buried our dead.  Now tell us of your religion.”

You see, a kind heat, and a little love goes a long way when it comes to influencing people for Christ.  Some of you are here today because someone was kind and they showed that they cared about you.  As a result of their actions, you are here at church, you have been baptized, and you are in a close relationship with God.

If we make true friends outside the church we can influence them for Christ if they sense that we truly care about them.  You see, true friendships do bring about a certain amount of influence for good and for the Lord.

H.K. Downie tells about a large newspaper that offered a substantial amount of cash for the best answer to the question, “What is the shortest way to London?”  The entry that won the prize read: “The shortest way to London is good company!”

We all need good company in life; good friends as we walk along life’s highway.  The thing that will make the trip better, more enjoyable, easier, and shorter is to have some good friends.

And it is important that we start making those friends and influencing them today.  Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb, had been friends all of their lives.  When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day.  One day Barb said, “Rose, we both loved playing women’s softball all our lives, and we played it all through High School.  Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s women’s softball there.”

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed, “Barb, you’ve been my best friend for many years.  If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favor for you.”  Shortly after that, Rose passed on.  At midnight a couple of nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, “Barb, Barb.”

“Who is it?” asked Barb, sitting up suddenly.  “Who is it?”  “Barb, it’s me, Rose.”  “You’re not Rose.  Rose just died.”  “I’m telling you, it’s me, Rose,” insisted the voice.  “Rose!  Where are you?”

“In Heaven,” replied Rose.  “I have some really good news and a little bad news.”  “Tell me the good news first,” said Barb.  “The good news,” Rose said, “is that there’s Softball in Heaven.  Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too.  Better than that, we’re all young again.  Better still, it’s always springtime, and it never rains or snows.  And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.”

“That’s fantastic,” said Barb.  “It’s beyond my wildest dreams!  So what’s the bad news?”  “You’re scheduled to pitch on Tuesday.”

You know, we never know when our time is coming, and so we need to influence everyone that we can.  Jesus is the best friend we’ll ever have.  He’s done more for us than anyone and He will walk with us and by us as we travel toward eternity.  And He’ll make the trip better.  If you don’t know Him today as a close friend and as you savior, then I would encourage you to make that decision today.

Let’s Pray!