Good evening. Tonight I want to talk about a serious issue in our churches today. We have hit on it in a way before when we have discussed the fact of women taking on roles that are traditionally given to men. The thing that I want to focus on this evening is the fact that there are not many men in our churches today, and that is in any church, not just ours.
Even at school, there is a 3 to 1 ratio of girls to guys. So the odds were in my favor of finding a good girl like Nellie, I just happened to find the best one. There is currently a book out about the fact that there are not many men in the churches today. Many wives go to church, but the husbands do not. Why is this? I mean take a look around, the story is true here for sure. So why is this?
Before we begin, let’s just open with a word of prayer
First I want to get your take on this issue. Why is it that you think men are not involved in church as much as women are?
Okay, with those things said, what can we do as a congregation to get men more involved in our church?
Well, after going through all of that, now I want to shift gears and I want to say that the best way to get men or women involved is if their spouse pursues them actively.
So, tonight I want to take a look at a passage from I Peter, and I want us to see how we can get our spouses more involved in church. Now I realize that for me to be leading us in this study tonight is a little out of place considering that I am not married, so I expect a lot of input from those of you whom are. And besides your input, what I am using as a guide has total authority for all of us, so lets see what God has to say about it all.
We’re going to tackle some issues and circumstances that some of you may be very sensitive to. But, what Peter teaches us in these verses can apply to the life of every Christ-follower at one time or another, but Peter’s primary focus is on the marriage relationship.
Before we go any farther, for those of you whom do not have a spouse, or yours is just as involved as you are, don’t check out yet. I think that as we look at this and apply it specifically to spouses, there is still great information that you can still gain as a way to witness to others no matter what your relationship is to them.
So, I Peter 3:1-12 is what we will be looking at tonight. Here in I Peter 3:starting in verse 1 it says, “1”
As we can see far more attention is given to the Christian woman who is married to an unbelieving husband than is given to the Christian husband. The reason for this is that there were many women in the early church who were married to non-Christian husbands. And as we can see today, it is no different.
So, are you, as a Christian, married to a non-Christian? The Bible devotes this special paragraph to telling wives how to win their husbands to Christ. The same principles work for husbands wanting to win their wives, and people in general wanting to win others to Christ. So what can we do?
During Bible times, life for a woman was terrible. Women was treated like slaves in Jewish culture, just above slaves in Greek culture, and in Roman culture they were under the absolute authority of the husband.
Peter is addressing women who became Christians whose husbands are not yet saved. He gives them instruction as to how to win them to Christ.
The bottom line is this; do you care enough for a lost spouse to do this? Do we all care enough for lost people to do what we need to do in order to reach them?
First, we need to look at our Pleasantness
Instead of defiance or bitterness, the Christian spouse is to be humble. Instead of nagging, our pleasant attitudes can win our spouses as it says, “without a word.” If we are going to reach people, they need to see a respect for God and His word in the way we live our lives!
Verse 1 tells us that the unbelieving husband may be won to Christ without a word as they observe the behavior of their spouse. This does not mean that you will never share with your spouse; it means that you will not be able to browbeat them to Christ. You will not always have to remind them to come to church. They will see it in you and then they will want it also! But it has to be lived out. I still like the quote that says, “Preach at all times, only when necessary use words.”
The behavior of the wives, in Peter’s mind, will probably be a more effective tool in leading unbelieving husbands to Christ than mere words. Peter is encouraging women to let their actions speak louder than their words. It’s quite possible that the husbands thought of their wives repeated words as little more than nagging. It could be that the unchurched men in Peter’s day would hear mention of the gospel and immediately tune it out, thinking, “Here we go again.”
Women and men alike need to lead others to Christ by their actions and not just their words alone. So, why do you think that our witnessing with our actions is so much more important than with words?
Okay, as we move on, we see that in verses 2-4 we take a look at our Personality
The spiritual beauty of a “gentle and quiet spirit” will radiate Christ and last forever. So here we learn that appearance is not just about the physical! In our society today we spend a lot of time and money trying to look good.
Even in Jesus’ day women with the means to do it, spent large sums of time and money trying to look good. Vanity is nothing unique to our society, it has been around forever. Now there is nothing wrong with looking good. Some try to take this passage to mean that we are to just let ourselves go when we belong to Jesus, but that couldn’t be any further from the truth.
Peter is telling the wives, and all of us that the external should not be the emphasis of our lives. A woman is not only to focus in on the external to win her husband, but she is to truly focus in on the development of an attractive inner-self.
Have you known people who have made it through life just on their looks to the point where they never really developed a personality?
What happens when the beauty fades? What happens when the body doesn’t look as good as it did years ago? Or the once full head of hair grays and falls out?
As we take care of the physical we need to pay attention to the inner-self as well. Peter encourages wives to let the hidden person of the heart be attractive. Specifically Peter encourages 2 points to work on.
Apparently, there were women within the church who thought that they needed to be more visually appealing to their husbands in order to reach them for Jesus Christ.
There are certain denominations that interpret a verse like this to mean that women are not to braid their hair or wear jewelry or do anything else to make themselves look attractive. They take this verse to be prohibiting women from doing anything that may make them look attractive to other people. But Peter is not calling women to that kind of extreme.
The Greek word translated in this verse as “adornment” is kosmos, from which we get the word cosmetic. It literally means to have an orderly arrangement “consisting of material things or activities designed to draw attention.” Peter is telling them that they should not rely on their outward attractiveness, as their method for winning their husbands to Christ. The method of evangelism they should use is found in verse 4.
First, to develop a gentle spirit. A gentle spirit is one that is unassuming. It is not characterized by envy, pride, or is it bossy. The word gentle means power under control. It was used of training horses to be tame. The horse is bigger and stronger than the rider. The horse can throw the rider whenever it wants to, but the horse allows the rider to ride him. So, a gentle spirit is a patient one that does not blow up at the first sign of trouble.
Also Peter encourages us to develop a quiet spirit. A quiet spirit is one that is calm, tranquil, and does not flash into anger when others speak harshly or behave with a lack of consideration toward them. Our society seems to think that the one who yells the loudest is the one who is strong. Or they think that the one who is the biggest jerk is the one who is the strongest.
But, a truly strong powerful person is one who can control themselves and stay calm in the midst of abuse, trouble, or unfair circumstances.
So, the external fades, but the inner beauty is not subject to fading, wrinkling, or loss. Peter also points out that the women of the Old Testament followed this course of action and were blessed by it. So we see here personality and spiritual beauty.
Next we see that we need to use our Performance
In verses 5-9 again it says, “1”
Sarah is a good model for us in this. We must embody the behavior found in verses 89. We must be committed to doing good. In the Old Testament, Sarah habitually obeyed her husband Abraham. Abraham is the father of the faithful, Sarah is the mother of the faithful. So we must care enough to be committed to doing good! Doing good should be the pattern of our life.
Next is to know that you can make a difference in the lives of others! We need to understand that we can make a difference in the lives of other people. If you know that, you will not give up. The fact of the matter is this, wives, if your husband is not a Christian yet, there is a chance he never will be. No matter what you do, that may not change. But if you try, you will not be held accountable before God for your spouse not following Him.
With that being said, if a wonderful Christian woman cannot lead her husband to Jesus, probably nothing else will. So it is important that we never give up on our family especially. At some point it can all change. But always realize that you can make a difference!
What is the good that we must be committed to doing in today’s world, and how can that make a difference? (Verses 10-11?)
And finally, we see the importance of our Prayers
Verse 12 again says, “1”
Why do you think that prayer is so important in winning your spouse or anyone to Christ?
Now we have spent time discussing this step before with other issues, and so I don’t want to spend much time on it, but it is the number one thing to consider when witnessing to others.
Pray for your spouse daily. Involve other godly people in praying. Psalm 51:17 tells us that God will reward your burden. When you take things to God in prayer He listens and He can soften people’s hearts to make them more receptive to others leading.
As we have seen in many different instances, prayer is a very powerful and effective tool. And it is no different when it comes to witnessing and winning a spouse, or another person to Christ. It is always best to pray for a person, and to pray that God will help you witness to them before you try and win them to Christ with your words. So it is important to pray for them.
As we close this evening, when a person lives with a sermon, talks with a sermon, sleeps with a sermon, and sees a sermon, he or she will be won to Christ more easily than if they just hear a sermon. So it fall on all of us to win others to Christ, and not just those who speak in a sermon manner.
Now I have to be honest with you. I was worried when I came to this section that the focus would be very narrow, but even though it deals with husbands and wives, I hope that we have all learned the principles to help us reach all people for Jesus.
The reason Peter writes this so that a Christian woman could win her husband to Christ is because of the fact that the marriage relationship is the most sacred of all human relationships. Now I don’t speak about this topic from experience, but I speak about it from the viewpoint of the Word of God, which is more reliable than any experience that anyone could ever have. And with that said, I find that marriage is a more wonderful thing when both spouses are going in the same direction in life.
Let’ Pray |
